Reverse Mortgage - When New Reverse Mortgage Products Are A Bad Thing

Have you heard of the new reverse mortgage product? Borrowers can be any age, borrow up to 100% of their equity and can get a fixed rate with no closing costs on a reverse mortgage (and it pays 4 points to the mortgage company!) - Just kidding!

New reverse mortgage products are popping up daily from lenders of all stripes. It's almost like reverse mortgages are the new sexy product category of the mortgage industry - like sub-prime loans were in the past decade. We know where that got us.

But is the market large enough to absorb all these new products? Despite being cool variations of the reverse mortgage theme - such as going to 60 year old (and younger!) borrowers, fixing rates, tying rates to any manner of indexes and making closing costs appear to be lower, the new reverse mortgage products appear to be driven more by a need for marketing than actual innovation. So, elders who are confused enough already about the prospect of taking out a reverse mortgage on their homes, now have to wrestle with the dozens of variations that the reverse mortgage originator can put on the table.

I am all for innovation in the reverse mortgage industry, but I really don't believe that the wholesale mortgage industry is on the right track with creating a myriad of new products. It seems that they are only sending out new product slicks to get the attention of reverse mortgage brokers. This will only invite reverse mortgage abuses. We have seen this pattern so many times before. Wholesalers just make new packaging for good core products - perverting the good with the ugly.

This is not going to work with reverse mortgages. If wholesalers want to increase market share they should do it through marketing support and education. They should make their brokers experts in selling reverse mortgages - not motivated strictly by mortgage sales commissions - but by providing great service to their clients and their communities.

Not every mortgage company should sell reverse mortgages. Reverse mortgages are a specialty product. Reverse mortgages require educated consultative sales people. Yes, they need to be well equipped, but the trend towards more and more aggressive underwriting and riskier variations on reverse mortgages will only backfire on the uninitiated. Our law firm is focused on the education and co-marketing of reverse mortgages to the elder community. We are not interested in selling reverse mortgages, only presenting them and helping elders decide if it is a good fit.

Reverse Mortgages or When Uncle Sam Moves Into the Guest Room - Medicare, Social Security and Medicaid Long Term Care Cost Money, You Know?

Reverse mortgages are bad mortgage products. Reverse mortgages cost too much in closing costs. Reverse mortgages drain the equity from elders' estates. Reverse mortgage originators prey on the weakest among us. Or so pundits that sell houses, annuities and all manner of ignorant self interested "protectors" of the elderly repeat as if a mantra to ward off the evil of reverse mortgages. Of course, the truth could not be further from their fears.

The US Government needs the baby boomers to embrace reverse mortgages. After all, the national debt has more numbers than my Comcast account, Halliburton needs to keep profitable in Iraq and Americans are living (and getting Social Security and Medicaid benefits) longer than ever. The actuaries tell us that it's not the interest on the national debt, foreign aid or war that will bankrupt the US Government, but rather Medicaid has the power to overwhelm the entire GDP. Where is the money that will pay for all of Uncle Sam' hospital bills?

Medicaid is an issue for the reverse mortgage industry, especially for the reverse mortgage originators that don't know their products and underwriting well enough to advise their customers on the traps. I have been featured recently in the Mortgage Press and the National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association national teleconference and newsletters as an expert in the intersection of Medicaid regulations and the origination of reverse mortgages.

Here is one of the articles, excerpts from an interview with Atare Agbamu (who writes extensively on reverse mortgage issues):

Traps for the Wary: Reverse Mortgages and Healthcare Benefits -- a conversation with Elder Law Attorney John Gosselin

By Atare E. Agbamu, CRMS

They say old age hardly comes alone. It comes with issues. The same can be said of reverse mortgages, the new pillars of retirement security in these precarious times.

Reverse mortgages come with issues, government healthcare benefits issues. The relationship with government healthcare benefits is deeper and more challenging than most originators and customers suspect.

To help us understand the connection and its implications for originators and customers, I spoke with Winchester, Massachusetts-based elder law attorney John T. Gosselin.

The Managing Attorney of his own law firm, Gosselin & Associates, P C, with offices in Massachusetts and New Hampshire, Mr. Gosselin is one of a few lawyers, in my experience, who really understand reverse mortgages, particularly how they mix with other elder law issues.

Besides overseeing a vibrant probate administration and elder law work, Mr. Gosselin runs a thriving real estate practice, acting as counsel or closing agent in more than 20,000 transactions, advising clients on purchase and sale agreements, mortgages, financial, and title disputes.

A member of the National Reverse Mortgage Lenders Association (NRMLA), Mr. Gosselin has advised and represented lenders in reverse mortgage situations for more than 10 years.

As you will find from our conversation, Mr. Gosselin has thought these issues through. His knowledge, insights, and suggestions will help you serve your customers better. They could help your company avoid some difficult issues too. [Disclaimer: Nothing in this article should be considered legal advice. Seek competent counsel for your unique situation.] The following is a transcript of our conversation.

Atare E. Agbamu: John, what is the loss of Medicaid Eligibility risk for the typical reverse mortgage borrower?

John T. Gosselin: The big risk is being over asset. The way you qualify for Medicaid benefits is to be poor. Medicaid is welfare. So in order to qualify for welfare, you need to be poor. And the government defines poor as a combination of assets and resources. And they define it all as available resources. That's the term that is used. If you have more available resources than the limits that are allowed by law, you cannot qualify for benefits.

The first risk is a borrower holds too much cash in their name, by virtue of holding too much cash, either through a lump-sum distribution from a reverse mortgage or drawing too much down from a HECM [government-insured reverse mortgage] or drawing a small amount from a HECM but not spending it. A lot of our borrowers in the reverse world are used to living on very low amounts of money. So when they start drawing from a HECM, they feel uncomfortable spending it. I have seen that happen where the borrower accumulates relatively modest payments over a short period of time to put them over the asset limits.

The asset limit, commonly, for an individual person, is about $2,000 in liquid resources, in addition to their principal residence. They are allowed to have a principal residence, but they can't have more than $2,000 in total liquid assets at the end of any month. So at the end of any month, they can't have more than $2,000 standing in their name and receive Medicaid benefits.

So the risk is that they are going to draw down or borrow more than what is allowed. By doing that, if they are over age 65, as almost all our reverse borrowers would be, it will automatically put them in situations where they are either going to be disqualified for benefits and/or subject to reimbursement for benefits they have already received. That is the risk specific to Medicaid.

There is another risk which is also related, Supplemental Security Income (SSI), which is an additional welfare program. It is intended mainly for people who are very poor, who have neither Social Security nor virtually any social security income. This is another scheme which the federal government provides for its poorest people. Generally, these are people who never paid into the system by working at jobs which provide for federal social security and insurance benefits. It is not an insurance program; it is a federal welfare benefit. And that program has very strict income guidelines.

Although a HECM advance doesn't disqualify them as income, there is a risk of going over the asset limits. There is income that is assumed to come from those assets. There is a formula that is done. If they are holding too much in assets, they can be disqualified from SSI. Again, holding too much cash is a problem. Having money in a given month is not a problem. They could draw down tens of thousands of dollars if they spend it for their own personal needs, their care, and their protection. They can really spend it for anything. They are spending an asset that is protected, which is their house. At the end of 30 days, they better get that asset back under $2,000. At the end of each month, their cash has got to be under $2,000. And they could not have accumulated other easily liquidated assets, like buying jewelry, for example. They can't buy more than one motor vehicle for their own use. They can't accumulate collectible assets. They can't go out and buy antique furniture that is going to carry a cash value or easily liquidated value. So they are somewhat restricted in how they use their funds, but not terribly.

One other dimension that people should be aware of (I don't expect this to occur often) is that the tenure payment could be construed as income. We usually say that reverse mortgage payouts are never income, that it is always drawing against the value of the house, but the reality is that when the balance of the mortgage exceeds the value of the collateral, it can be recognized as income; because, effectively, it is no longer a loan because the proceeds are exceeding the value of the collateral. The IRS would recognize that as a form of taxable annuity income. That could run into some problems.

Now why I say it shouldn't come up much is that the tenure payment is fairly conservative. The formula used to come up with the numbers really anticipate someone living quite some time before the loan gets upside down; but, in a declining real estate market, you could, potentially, see that become an issue in the future.

AA: From your experience, how valuable is Medicaid Eligibility to the average senior person? For it to be a serious loss, it has got to be pretty valuable.

JG: For the average senior, they are probably going to be receiving Medicare benefits because that is an insurance program that people pay in when they work, and they work for wages. The vast majority of people over 65 are on Medicare benefits.

The Medicaid benefits we are talking about will affect reverse mortgages. It could be supporting a spouse that is in a nursing home. For example, if we have a wife that is in the community and a husband in a nursing home, the wife in the community (it varies by state) on average, is allowed to keep the principal residence and approximately $100,000 in assets. It does vary. More or less, it is $100,000. If she goes over the asset limit, she can disqualify her spouse for the benefits that they are receiving for the husband's care and possibly be forced to reimburse benefits already received.

Most often, I think, when a spouse of someone who is borrowing on a reverse is in a facility [nursing home], they are disqualifying the spouse often unknowingly. This is one of the traps for originators. They should inquire whether or not a spouse is in a nursing facility and determine how that spouse is paying for their care. Sometimes the spouse will no longer be on title so the topic does not come up unless a direct inquiry is made.

There are other ways to pay for nursing care. One of them could be VA [Veteran Administration]. The VA is very low cost, and it doesn't really impact reverses as it is tied to service record and not only financial need. There are also religious and community organizations that provide unique living situations for elders, many of these require turning over large lump sums in favor of lifetime care contracts. Home care services are also coming along that will essentially enable seniors to have nursing care at home on a somewhat more affordable basis. Another place Medicaid comes in is community Medicaid.

Community Medicaid is a program that supplements Medicare. Again, it is generally for the poorest people, both seniors and those under 65. The people whose income and ability to pay for what Medicare doesn't pay for is compromised, so they would go for Medicaid benefits in the community, or they need some special services or in-home care through a variety of community programs.

There are in-home care programs that are coming up every day now in every state, where instead of going to a nursing home, the state will subsidize a certain amount of in-home care. It is that in-home care we need to be concerned with because if it is under the Medicaid program, it is subject to reimbursement. Think of Medicaid like a loan from the government.

AA: So this is a very valuable program for the average senior because it protects their health, right?

JG: The Medicaid program we are talking about is a community health insurance benefit. This pays for every aspect of medical care. It pays for prescriptions. It pays for hospitalization. It pays for virtually any medical need of an elderly person. You could have reimbursement obligations in the millions of dollars for somebody who has a serious illness.

You could have someone who has MS [multiple sclerosis], Lou Gehrig's disease, or a form of cancer that has received hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars worth of care through the Medicaid system. Yes, it is absolutely a valuable benefit.

To lose the benefit for people who are receiving the benefit would probably be catastrophic. They could put themselves in situations where their medical debt could consume the value of their house. If they have no other means of paying for their medical debt, they could be forced into bankruptcy for their medical debt.

The US government needs to find a way to use the wealth stored in home equity for people's care, I think we'll see a much simpler reverse mortgage product coming very soon, like a low interest rate reverse mortgage that's sold directly or at least wholly subsidized by the US Government to get at people's home equity for elders' medical and home care needs.

 

Reverse Mortgage - A Happy Pill?

Can a mortgage make you happy? As an elder law lawyer in Massachusetts I see the worst of the human condition on a daily basis - depression, debilitating illness, greed, elder abuse, death. Seldom is the lawyer brought in to celebrate good news with an elder law client. The most common characteristic of our elder law clients is depression. Whether caused by isolation, grief or worry depression is epidemic among the elderly. It is particularly noteworthy in elders that live alone in their own homes.

It's difficult to know which is the proverbial cart and which is the horse, but it would seem that aside from grief over the loss of a spouse (often the husband has passed first), the isolation and worry are caused by financial insecurity. When an elder lacks financial resources to purchase groceries let alone take part in ordinary social rituals (church, bingo, social clubs) for fear of the stigmatization of poverty they withdraw from the very community that should be there to support them emotionally in their time of need. In most elders' minds American society rewards financially successful people with acceptance and shuns those that cannot achieve their own financial security.

Over time this withdrawal from community compounds the issues of limited financial resources and depression. The further effects of malnutrition, reduced medical care (often in the form of splitting pills to non-therapeutic doses) and the physical dilapidation of the elder's home leads the elder to long term care facilities and being forced to sell their home in an unplanned manner. The elder's "house rich" circumstances control the situation and the inevitable outcome. Many elders have children who lack either the means or will to provide financial aid to their parents (if they could provide financial support to their elder parent homeowner, I can recommend looking at the new program offered by Circle Lending (not a lender) called Family Advantage - it's basically a privately funded reverse mortgage). While selling the home is always an option it seldom helps the elder and often further sends them the message that they have failed to maintain the lifestyle to which they had worked for throughout their lives. I have been witness to miracles brought about by elders making the decision to help themselves by obtaining a reverse mortgage. Contrary to the conventional "wisdom" that has shrouded reverse mortgages for years; reverse mortgages are good solutions in the right situations. "You mean I will receive $1,100 every month for the rest of my life? - I'm going to start swimming again at the Y." That is what I heard just yesterday at a reverse mortgage closing.

By being able to tap the equity in the real estate that they own elders can access value without disrupting their personal culture and well being by selling their home. It is an empowering thing to be given freedom from lingering debt or years of insufficient income. Anecdotally, I have seen many elder law clients of my law firm emerge from their funks and indeed their depressions, to get back on their feet using their home equity. Contrary to some popular thinking, despite the cost of obtaining a reverse mortgage (nothing in this life is free from what I can tell) and the thought that there will be less inheritance left for the aforementioned good for little children; reverse mortgages are lifelines for the elder community. Reverse mortgages solve problems. Reverse mortgages unlock the paper appreciation in real estate over a lifetime of hard work. Reverse mortgages are the friend of the elderly. Reverse mortgages make elders smile. As I work further towards building a strong presence in the blogosphere, I want to thank my hundreds (thousands?) of readers for keeping me moving in the right direction. Soon you will be seeing a whole new blog, indeed a whole new blog experience, as we migrate this simple site to LexBlog, the leading website for blogging lawyers. LexBlog will provide me with substantial software resources so that I can incorporate many new useful features to my blogs. The topics will remain the same, although I am now working with several reverse mortgage lenders on bringing new lending programs to the market so I hope to be a resource for the reverse mortgage community on trends and traps in the industry. I will also continue to provide clear insights on the risks of dying without an adequate estate plan and the accompanying costs and hassles of probate in Massachusetts. Thanks again for your continued support!

Massachusetts Short Sale (As seen on the Fox 25 News at 10pm)

A house in your neighborhood or even on your street may be the next one up for foreclosure. Many people are finding out that great mortgage they locked into may not be so great after all. Rising rates are causing big problems all over the country and here in the Bay State.
Click here to watch Attorney John Gosselin as he offers up tips to avoid foreclosure and navigate the short sale process as seen on Fox 25 News at 10pm with Ted Daniel. You can reach Law for Life's Short Sale Group at 781-782-6000. The experienced short sale lawyers in his law firm assist Massachusetts residents facing foreclosure. Ordinarily, the legal fees associated with short sale representation are paid as part of negotiated settlement with the loss mitigation department at your bank.

After the Purchase & Sale Agreement, How to Take Title on Your Deed

The earliest landowners probably demarcated their property by saying, "I own my cave and 100 steps in every direction from its entrance." Over time, as the number of humans increased, the law had to evolve in order to regulate more complex ownership interests. Any form of regulation requires balancing rights and duties. And when "a house is divided," i.e., when several people share ownership of the same piece of property, it becomes especially important to explicitly define each party's rights and delineate each party's duties.

 In legal terms, there are three ways in which co-ownership (known as concurrent ownership) is structured: The parties can be (1) joint tenants, (2) tenants by the entirety or, (3) tenants in common. It is important to note that concurrent ownership is a concept that only applies to present possessory interests in the same property. For example, if the same piece of property is given in a will to several people, they will not be considered concurrent owners.

Joint Tenancy: Traditionally, joint tenants must receive their interest at the same time and through the same document, like a will or a deed. Survivors is the other important characteristic of joint tenancy. Survivors means that when one of the joint tenants dies, their interest automatically passses to the other joint tenant. The heirs of the deceased joint tenant or those named in her will do not have the right to inherit the property. In order to create this type of ownership, the party or parties seeking to create it must use specific language demonstrating that intent.

For example, if Grandpa Adam wishes to give his apartment to grandsons Cain and Abel for them to share as joint tenants with right of survivorship, the legal document giving the apartment to Cain and Abel must specifically say something like:" to Cain and Abel, as joint tenants". Each joint tenant's interest must be equal in amount. Building on the example above, Cain and Abel each must have an equal, undivided one-half interest. And like a tenancy-in-common (discussed later) each joint tenant has the same the rights of ownership, i.e., each can use, occupy and possess the property at the same time. A joint tenancy can continue indefinitely unless one of the tenants does something to sever it. Certain actions (like partition, discussed below) will break the joint tenancy and automatically make the co-owners tenants-in-common.

Tenancy-by-the-Entirety: A tenancy-by-the-entirety is a form of co-ownership that applies only to husbands and wives while they are married. It is based on the archaic common law view that husband and wife are only one person for the purpose of owning property. As long as they are still married, neither the husband nor the wife have a separate interest that can be sold, mortgaged, leased or liened against. The property cannot be divided or partitioned between them. In Massachusetts each spouse has an undivided interest in the whole property and the right to sole ownership when the other spouse dies.

Since a tenancy-by-the-entirety applies only to a husband and wife during a valid marriage, should they divorce, the ownership is automatically converted into a "tenancy-in-common" with each person owning a one-half interest in the property. At the outset, husbands and wives who do not want to be tenants- by- the-entirety, should make sure that any property they acquire while they are married is documented using language which clearly states that they do not own the property as tenants by the entirety.

Tenancy-in-Common: A tenancy-in-common generally applies to two or more persons who are not husband and wife, but own the property together. The owners may have unequal interests and may had receive their interests at different times and through different means or documents. A tenancy-in-common may be created in a written agreement or by default (as discussed above in the case of broken joint tenancies and severed tenancies by the entirety). The key difference between a tenancy-in-common and other types of co-ownership is survivorship. Upon death, a tenant-in-common's interest passes to her heirs or those named in her will. There is, therefore, no right of survivorship that transfers the decedent's interest in the property to the other co-owners. Each tenant-in-common can occupy and utilize every portion of the property at all times and in all circumstances and, each co-owner is also responsible for a proportionate share of the expenses, taxes and repairs incident to property ownership.

If the all of the expenses are paid by one co-owner, the other co-owners must reimburse her for their share of the costs. Or should they refuse to pay her, she may petition the court to levy a lien against their interests in the property. Co-owners have the right to sell their interest in the property, giving it away while they are alive or transferring it to persons of their choice at death, without the consent of the other co-owners, with the buyers or inheritors sharing the same rights and duties of ownership as the co-tenant who passed on her interest. If tenants-in-common wish to terminate their joint ownership of the property they may voluntarily do so by signing an agreement to partition or they may file a court action for partition in the Probate Court or Land Court.

Petitions to Partition: Property can only be partitioned if co-tenants share a present, undivided legal interest and they may either divide the property into parcels or, if the land cannot be fairly divided, the court may order that that the property be sold by private sale or public auction and their proceeds be apportioned by law equitably among the co-owners.

A property can be partitioned even if there is a lease on it, and someone living in a leased, partitioned property, must be permitted to continue living there. Merely instituting partition proceedings does not terminate a tenancy. Partition proceedings, like any other legal action, cost money. The court determines the reasonable expenses and charges of the proceedings. If the property is sold, these expenses and charges are paid out of the sale proceeds and in those cases where the property is divided, the petitioner (the person asking for the partition) pays the expenses and charges with contribution from the other parties in proportion to their respective interests, unless the court finds that a different ratio would be more equitable.

Conclusion: Even the most primitive conceptions of ownership probably recognized the importance of specificallydefining the rights and duties of each co-owner when more than one person owns the same piece of property. The earliest assertions of concurrent ownership probably went something like, "We both own this cave. I have a right to live here and you do too. You have to clean it and I will clean it too."

Today, because more and more people are co-owning property, "dividing the house" has become an even more complex task for which professionals are needed. Seniors who like to co-own property or who'd like to get their money out of a piece of property that they own with others, should contact a lawyer and/or a real estate professional. Lawyers can be instrumental in drafting the appropriate legal documents that define co-ownership, and in the event of a voluntary or court-ordered partition, lawyers can draft the requisite partition agreements or can represent petitioners in probate or land court proceedings. When "a house is divided" someone should be there to make sure that it doesn't fall as the pieces are being put together or when they are being taken apart.

Desperate Real Estate Brokers - The Long and Short Sale

I'll admit publicly to watching the following programs on a somewhat regular basis (normally by TiVo): 24; Prison Break; Heroes; Sopranos; CSI:Miami; CSI:Vegas. I will neither admit or deny regularly watching: Grey's Anatomy; Ugly Betty; and Lost. I would never admit to ever watching Desperate Housewives, except every time it's on a Sunday night. I don't watch any lawyer programs, I get enough law firm drama at work.

A couple weeks ago there was a Desperate Housewives scene that caused me to nearly snort my diet ginger ale through my nose. The blonde bombshell, Edie, who is a real estate broker and generally heartless persona found a paramour in the recently divorced Carlos. The only problem is that Edie has a child living in her home that isn't ready to know about his Mom's extracurricular activities and Carlos has a roommate that wouldn't quite understand. So Edie and Carlos needed a place to call their own for their afternoon trysts. Edie's plan? Well, of course, she has keys to the finest homes in town! Yes, that's right, Edie and Carlos toured the master bedrooms of several of "Fairview's" lovely Stepford-like homes in the pursuit of purient joy. It's no secret how I feel about conniving, dishonest real estate brokers. Check out my cover story interview in Boston Magazine . As a result, I've become an effigy for many real estate brokers in Massachusetts - hey, if the shoe fits wear it. Not all real estate brokers in Massachusetts are bad, but the bad real estate brokers are out there. What's the best way to work with a real estate broker?

On the homebuying side, my advice is to focus on publicly available information first, like Realtor.com or even Craigslist for information about what homes are on the market. From there I recommend finding a real estate broker to represent you in the transaction, it won't cost you anything out-of-pocket and it will put someone between you and the listing agent who is clearly not working in your best interest. The buyer broker is paid normally 1/2 of the commission on the property - this could be as much as $15,000 for merely turning a key in a lock on a typical $600,000 house. My suggestion is to ask the real estate broker to rebate part of their commission to you in the form of a closing credit to help offset lender closing costs, attorney fees, moving expenses, etc. There are new companies popping up all the time that offer some variation of this program or another. So long as you have done your own homework on the neighborhood and hired a competent home inspector and real estate lawyer to keep things legit, there's no need to pay the full commission.

So you need to sell a house? Here's where my legal advice might surprise you: pay the commission, the whole, whopping 5% (which is typical for most properties, could be 4% or 6% under different circumstances). Why? Well, in today's real estate market in Massachusetts there is so much competition that your real estate broker must have sufficient financial resources to advertise and market your property beyond merely listing it on MLS. But if they all charge the same rate how to pick a good broker? First off, don't hire your friend, mother-in-law or cousin's first husband to list your house. See The Gosselin Theory of Relativity for a detailed explanation. Second, don't be the real estate broker's first listing - hire an experienced real estate broker along with an experienced real estate lawyer. Last, and most importantly, have an entire cup of coffee with your real estate broker in your kitchen and make sure that the real estate broker is the kind human that you like to spend time with, because at the end of the day the real estate broker is in the people business and you want good people representing you.

Real Estate Development Scams, Contentious Inheritances and Saturday Morning

The other day I was asked how I became an elder law lawyer that handles real estate and probate matters. I responded in the usual manner that my father was a trial lawyer and my mother a nurse at a Massachusetts nursing home and I wanted to combine my quantitative aptitude with my interest in directly helping people. But, then I put a little more thought into what it was in my origins that passively educated me in dealing with real estate development, probate, elder law and other areas of Massachusetts law. It had a lot more to do with Saturday mornings.

There was this farm operated by old farmer Jones who was a fourth generation farmer. He had a hired man, Mike, that helped care for the animals. Mike had only been working there for a few months when farmer Jones' daughter's friends came by for a visit. You see the farm was right near a new interstate and would be a perfect place for a new shopping mall worth millions of dollars. But farmer Jones had no interest in real estate development, he wanted to keep the family farm for his children. Then farmer Jones' great-great grandfather showed up and started to scare all the animals and the Jones family as a spooky floating ghost. One of the friends that was visiting noticed that after the ghost showed his haunting face that there were footsteps with drops of glow-in-the-dark paint. She went with her dog to follow the tracks and after a few crazy chases around the farm - they caught the "ghost". He was unmasked by the gang of friends - it was Mike the caretaker! Apparently he thought he could force farmer Jones to sell the farm to him cheaply so he could build a shopping mall. Mike's comment? "I would have gotten away with it too, if not for those pesky kids and that dog!" Roh, Roh. Yes, Scooby Doo has more probate cases, real estate development schemes and legal problems than any cartoon in modern history.

Look closely next time you're watching the show or even the dreadful Scooby Doo movies. There's one movie from Hawai'i that is about a local kid scaring everyone away with evil spirits so he can scoop up their seaside village for real estate development. Another one where a well intending nephew is really trying to get title to the family's hotel. There isn't a Scooby Doo without a storyline that any Massachusetts lawyer wouldn't love.

Infinite Monkey Theorem of Prime Boston Real Estate

I went to the Boston Red Sox this past Saturday with my 7 year old. I measure the success of a trip to the Red Sox with one of my sons by a complicated calculus of the number of innings we actually watch, the number of innings spent in the restroom, the cost of souvenirs and the number of different snacks consumed. Well, this game was a winner on all counts.

It started as we settled into our comfortable first base line seats with our Fenway Franks and peanuts still in the shell. A father and son of about the same age as my son and myself desperately came up to us and asked if we would switch seats with them. You see, the little boy, in his little league Red Sox uniform and wearing his Franklin/Butch Hobson glove - must have been dad's glove, was focused on catching a foul ball. His dad, through one connection or another had managed to get the 'seats of a lifetime' directly behind home plate. These seats offered an amazing view of every pitch and a closeness to the players that verges on creepy. But, because of some Massachusetts lawyer in 1912, there's a net behind home plate so the well-heeled fans don't lose any teeth. Seeing that I could both score great seats and make this little boy's day (that would be the little boy in ME), we moved down to Section 47.

We did see what we had expected from this very special little piece of prime Boston real estate - not to mention hearing the sounds of the game like never before. A Curt Shilling fast ball smacking Varitek's glove brings resounding joy to the true believers. Because of the netting surrounding our little area, it can feel a little like a cage with us chimpanzees looking out at the rest of the fans and the field. After $100 a ticket for the seat, probably $50 a head in snacks and drinks and as much to park - do you think that some of the best major league ball players in the world would provide the best entertainment to those lucky chimpanzees in the home plate cage? Nope. Pro baseball was a distant second to the chimpanzees' favorite sport - watching people relate to foul balls. Not a stray ball was hit that didn't lead the crowd to a strong emotional response. OOOHHHH!!! She really got 'beaned' by that one! Beer Bath Row 15!! One hander! Cute kid with glove run down by fat drunk guy! Fumble by the rich guy with the field seat he doesn't deserve the ball. Holy Bleachers Batman! He's going to fall into left field! And on, and on, and on. I have never seen such a degree of mass human entertainment since those expert lawyers in the OJ Case made a mockery of the American legal system and embarrassed lawyers wholesale across the country. And so it went for the entire game (which was as good as a baseball game gets by the way) - the chimpanzees hooped and hollered about every last ball.

Don't forget the grounded fouls. "Give the ball to the kid." The all powerful ball boy granted $6 rawhide wishes on deserving fans throughout the game. Even Manny Ramirez and David Ortiz went out of their ways to toss balls into the stands - they know how the chimpanzees love their bananas! We could all save a lot of money and just have a pitcher and a batter on the field (that should keep us under the payroll cap) hitting balls into the stands to see who loses a tooth, gets a black eye or makes the people 25 feet below him smell like a brewery. It might lower the cost of this Boston real estate, but then again with all the lawyers in Boston, they might make them put up a net around the whole crowd - even people in the cheap real estate can then be chimpanzees too!

CEO's in the Big House

I found this neat academic article that puts a lot of things in perspective on the very high end of the residential real estate market. Two econonmists prepared the paper that shows convincing evidence of the correlation between the decline in stock prices of the top 500 US companies and the value of the principal residences purchased by their CEO's. The more valuable the house, the worse the stock performed in the years following. Why? The good professors conclude that the CEO's have become complacent with their positions and no longer have the financial incentives to take on new risks (and potential growth). For the most part these modern day Taj Mahals are paid for with the proceeds of stock sales. On this theory, I guess you want to look for the CEO that still lives at home with Mom and Dad. Why do Americans have such large houses? Look at other developed countries like Japan, Germany and England for examples of efficient housing stock. People in those countries, for the most part, buy houses that are in step with their family size and needs.

We know the US government wants to encourage home ownership, the IRS gives us tax breaks for interest paid on mortgages, we can get homestead protection from our creditors and the "American Dream" is often defined as having that big house in the suburbs. I think the US government has a more insidious plan for its citizens. A plan that large corporate interests can support. A plan the banks can really get their arms around. What's the plan?

The US government wants its citizens to have bigger and bigger houses so we can buy more stuff. That's right, your American Dream is actually a big box in which to put all your consumer purchases. Look around, how much space do you really need to live comfortably? How big a car do you need to get around town? When was the last time you delayed the purchase of an item instead of using your credit card? Something's got to give along way here. I would propose a theory to go along with the CEO theory - that when all consumers buy the biggest houses that they can afford, park an SUV the size of a tank in the driveway and run full tilt on the credit card treadmill that the economy as a whole is on course for failure. Not to mention the environment, the balance of trade, our cultural values, etc. I am not proposing that we move into caves, but maybe we could look a little more closely what we want and what we need.