Affordable Christmas Gifts for Parents from Santa Claus and Brooke Astor

The son of philanthropist Brooke Astor was accused in an indictment unsealed Tuesday of plundering his mother's $198 million estate and conspiring to have the Alzheimer's-stricken socialite sign a new will leaving her fortune to him.

I guess this shows us that the rich are just like everyone else. Greed is no more a condition of poverty than hunger is a condition of obesity. Humans with a nature to cause harm to their families for their own profit come in all shapes and sizes. Brooke Astor is no more immune to her family's greed than any other elderly woman suffering from the ravages of dementia. Probate, estate taxes and trust issues for the rich are the same as for everyone else - just magnified by the scale of wealth.

A big part of our estate planning process is developing strategies to prevent abuse of the elderly. Using co-fiduciaries, professional trust services and checks and balances built into our documents, we are able to give our clients strong lines of defense. Brooke Astor may have had access to the best lawyers in the United States because of her wealth, but without an understanding of elder law and the dangers of elder abuse, even the best lawyer in Boston cannot imagine the opportunity for fraud within a parent-child relationship. Our experience tells us that the "big firm" lawyers are ill equipped to deal with what is often more social work than legal work.

Our practice is to approach mental health issues in our elderly clients as a multi-disciplinary issue. Working closely with medical providers, financial planners and social workers we craft bespoke plans that respect each individual client's unique personal situation. House, hospital or nursing home calls are commonplace in what we do, how else could we know how our clients live? Ask your downtown Boston lawyer to visit the nursing home on a Saturday morning.

In her day Brooke Astor, was a great philanthropist. In a great twist she will continue to be philanthropic through her own son's misdeeds by giving America an example of greed to the umpteenth degree. For elder law lawyers, Santa Claus could not have brought a more perfect Christmas present for elder parents than the example of the consequences of poor planning. Do your grandparents, parents and self a favor and give the affordable Christmas gift of good estate planning. And, yes, I would be happy to sell you a gift certificate for estate planning!

 

When Probate is a Memorable Event

 It seems that most every day in my office is Memorial Day. Not the one where you dust off deck chairs, fill propane tanks and enjoy a hard earned day off, but the one for remembering the dead. As a probate lawyer in Massachusetts I commit my time to working with the families of recently deceased loved ones. Often it is uneventful as the death was anticipated or the decedent was quite elderly and there is no sadness, only necessity of clearing up probate and real estate matters as required by Massachusetts law. We file a few papers in the probate court in Boston and after a little time their real estate title passes and the estate taxes are paid and the family moves on.

These families use our probate services as any other service, they have a need, we provide a service, they pay a fee, we complete the probate process as required by Massachusetts law. But other times our clients' needs are far more spiritual and intangible than ethereal. Will contests where family is torn apart by perceived (and real) injustices in a parent's estate planning; abusive behavior towards an elder - such that there has been a complete breach of trust and of the very fiduciary duty to which the presumably honest family member had been entrusted. Premature death of a young parent or even a child are always the hardest cases. Many a time I will speak with the grieving spouse or parent and each time I have a lump in my throat just to bring up some mundane subject like estate taxes or probate or how handle a real estate matter. I am embarrassed by my efficiency, but it is a necessary part of our probate practice.

To assuage this anxiety and trepidation in serving our probate clients, I teach my staff to remember compassion as an honorable attribute of even the most technically proficient probate lawyer. No initial client consultation begins until I have humbly expressed my sympathy at the loss of the decedent and a gesture that I will do all that is within my power to make the probate process and all of the ensuing consequences of estate administration in Massachusetts as simple and efficient as possible. I often ask my probate clients to show me photographs of a decedent that I don't know, to tell me stories of their lives - and stories from the 'greatest generation' can be fascinating. I have had survivors of the Holocaust, the killing fields of Cambodia, decorated war veterans, a 43 year veteran of the postal service, a prima ballerina in a Russian ballet, a long forgotten Red Sox player, a mother of 6 and grandmother of 23.

Every other year I bring my children to my family's cemetery plot in Mattapan, near one of Boston's most historically impoverished areas. I remind my children that their ancestors arrived in Boston over 150 years ago with nothing but strong muscles and a faith that God would see them through. They worked hard, suffered horrible tragedies from tuberculosis to influenza to death in child birth to the deadly trenches of France - one great uncle was crushed by a granite block while working day labor in a quarry; but above all they persevered and kept their goals in front of them. Hard work, education, family, faith - a proven formula for a good life lived. I'd ask you to take a little time and remember those that came before us, go visit their graves with your children, remind them where you came from. If you don't, they won't remind their children and the chain to your family's unique story will be broken. If you are from a far away place and have no family graves to visit, go and visit our forgotten war veterans for whom Memorial Day is reserved.