Boston Estate Planning and Probate Lawyer & Attorney : Gosselin & Associates Law Firm : Serving Boston, Winchester, Hingham, Wellesley, Manchester

Whenever I meet with a new estate planning client I like to take the time to know what brought them to finally sit down and plan the disposition of their assets at death (what many people call 'getting my affairs in order' or 'getting my will done'). Some decide to get their will done because of some event in their lives, a new baby, a new marriage, a new divorce, a recent death, an inheritance; while others have much more unexpected reasons for finally getting it all in writing.

For example, I met a client once who had an overwhelming fear that her grandmother's china collection would be separated at her death that she made elaborate provisions for it in a trust (I don't think she ever actually ate on it!). Another client came to me because they intentionally wanted to make the probate process miserable for their heirs, looking to me to make the most complex and inefficient plan possible so her estranged family would have great difficulty in getting at her property through the Probate Court (needless to say we sent her elsewhere for her tormenting plan). Yet other clients are motivated, even upon their deaths, by nothing more than saving money on taxes - what I call making Uncle Sam a lesser heir to your estate. I guess it is good to do what's legal to reduce your estate taxes, but some folks are more worried about the savings in tax than protecting spendthrift kids from them summarily blowing their increased inheritances. We are seeing more and more people getting their estate planning done, not to avoid probate or reduce estate taxes, but to protect their pets. I guess pets are people, too.

Whatever the reason to getting an estate plan done, it's truly the action of taking the steps necessary to complete a plan that matter, as without proper planning,  incapacity or death can have many unintended consequences. GosselinLaw.com >

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One of the most misunderstood words in the legal profession is trust. I am talking about a trust, the legal document. Many people can describe to me what a trust does ("it avoids taxes", "it keeps things secret", "it allows me to tell my son what to do with my money", "it manages my money", etc.) Few people actually see the essence of what a trust is, and what it is not.

Black's Law Dictionary defines a trust as "a right of property, real or personal, held by one party for the benefit of another." Or, "an obligation arising out of a confidence reposed in the trustee or representative, who has the legal title to property conveyed to him, that he will faithfully apply the property according to the confidence reposed, or, in other words, according to the wishes of the grantor of the trust." Well, that's a lot of help. I like to think of trusts as nothing more than "instructions". The person making the trust instructs the trustee to do something for the benefit of another person (the beneficiary). Try the exercise of replacing the word 'trust' with the word 'instructions' and I think you'll see how simple it can translate legal jargon. Trusts are really the modern equivalent of wills a generation ago. They are affordable, flexible, can avoid probate, reduce will contests and protect your family from a myriad of legal problems. Some types of trusts can even help you qualify for Medicaid as part of a comprehensive Massachusetts elder law plan.

Although trusts come in many different flavors and styles, the core element is protection of assets and ease of management. Some countries, most notably France, have no legal identity for trusts. Even the term 'trust' can't be easily translated into French, because there is no legal equivalent. As a result it can be very difficult for trusts to acquire property in France or otherwise conduct business as they are not recognized as separate legal entities. Although the concept of a trust may exist in other countries as a practical matter trusts are only used by the super rich and powerful. During the middle of the 20th century, as U.S. banks and trust companies became more competitive to offer services to a burgeoning (upper) middle class that came about after World War II, trusts became more available. In sum, a good written set of instructions left in the hands of a good person is your best defense against an unwanted outcome upon your incapacity or death. Trusts fit the bill. Let one of Law for Life's experienced trust and estate planning attorneys help you with your personal trust planning. Call them at Gosselin Law at 781-729-0313.

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The earliest landowners probably demarcated their property by saying, "I own my cave and 100 steps in every direction from its entrance." Over time, as the number of humans increased, the law had to evolve in order to regulate more complex ownership interests. Any form of regulation requires balancing rights and duties. And when "a house is divided," i.e., when several people share ownership of the same piece of property, it becomes especially important to explicitly define each party's rights and delineate each party's duties.

 In legal terms, there are three ways in which co-ownership (known as concurrent ownership) is structured: The parties can be (1) joint tenants, (2) tenants by the entirety or, (3) tenants in common. It is important to note that concurrent ownership is a concept that only applies to present possessory interests in the same property. For example, if the same piece of property is given in a will to several people, they will not be considered concurrent owners.

Joint Tenancy: Traditionally, joint tenants must receive their interest at the same time and through the same document, like a will or a deed. Survivors is the other important characteristic of joint tenancy. Survivors means that when one of the joint tenants dies, their interest automatically passses to the other joint tenant. The heirs of the deceased joint tenant or those named in her will do not have the right to inherit the property. In order to create this type of ownership, the party or parties seeking to create it must use specific language demonstrating that intent.

For example, if Grandpa Adam wishes to give his apartment to grandsons Cain and Abel for them to share as joint tenants with right of survivorship, the legal document giving the apartment to Cain and Abel must specifically say something like:" to Cain and Abel, as joint tenants". Each joint tenant's interest must be equal in amount. Building on the example above, Cain and Abel each must have an equal, undivided one-half interest. And like a tenancy-in-common (discussed later) each joint tenant has the same the rights of ownership, i.e., each can use, occupy and possess the property at the same time. A joint tenancy can continue indefinitely unless one of the tenants does something to sever it. Certain actions (like partition, discussed below) will break the joint tenancy and automatically make the co-owners tenants-in-common.

Tenancy-by-the-Entirety: A tenancy-by-the-entirety is a form of co-ownership that applies only to husbands and wives while they are married. It is based on the archaic common law view that husband and wife are only one person for the purpose of owning property. As long as they are still married, neither the husband nor the wife have a separate interest that can be sold, mortgaged, leased or liened against. The property cannot be divided or partitioned between them. In Massachusetts each spouse has an undivided interest in the whole property and the right to sole ownership when the other spouse dies.

Since a tenancy-by-the-entirety applies only to a husband and wife during a valid marriage, should they divorce, the ownership is automatically converted into a "tenancy-in-common" with each person owning a one-half interest in the property. At the outset, husbands and wives who do not want to be tenants- by- the-entirety, should make sure that any property they acquire while they are married is documented using language which clearly states that they do not own the property as tenants by the entirety.

Tenancy-in-Common: A tenancy-in-common generally applies to two or more persons who are not husband and wife, but own the property together. The owners may have unequal interests and may had receive their interests at different times and through different means or documents. A tenancy-in-common may be created in a written agreement or by default (as discussed above in the case of broken joint tenancies and severed tenancies by the entirety). The key difference between a tenancy-in-common and other types of co-ownership is survivorship. Upon death, a tenant-in-common's interest passes to her heirs or those named in her will. There is, therefore, no right of survivorship that transfers the decedent's interest in the property to the other co-owners. Each tenant-in-common can occupy and utilize every portion of the property at all times and in all circumstances and, each co-owner is also responsible for a proportionate share of the expenses, taxes and repairs incident to property ownership.

If the all of the expenses are paid by one co-owner, the other co-owners must reimburse her for their share of the costs. Or should they refuse to pay her, she may petition the court to levy a lien against their interests in the property. Co-owners have the right to sell their interest in the property, giving it away while they are alive or transferring it to persons of their choice at death, without the consent of the other co-owners, with the buyers or inheritors sharing the same rights and duties of ownership as the co-tenant who passed on her interest. If tenants-in-common wish to terminate their joint ownership of the property they may voluntarily do so by signing an agreement to partition or they may file a court action for partition in the Probate Court or Land Court.

Petitions to Partition: Property can only be partitioned if co-tenants share a present, undivided legal interest and they may either divide the property into parcels or, if the land cannot be fairly divided, the court may order that that the property be sold by private sale or public auction and their proceeds be apportioned by law equitably among the co-owners.

A property can be partitioned even if there is a lease on it, and someone living in a leased, partitioned property, must be permitted to continue living there. Merely instituting partition proceedings does not terminate a tenancy. Partition proceedings, like any other legal action, cost money. The court determines the reasonable expenses and charges of the proceedings. If the property is sold, these expenses and charges are paid out of the sale proceeds and in those cases where the property is divided, the petitioner (the person asking for the partition) pays the expenses and charges with contribution from the other parties in proportion to their respective interests, unless the court finds that a different ratio would be more equitable.

Conclusion: Even the most primitive conceptions of ownership probably recognized the importance of specificallydefining the rights and duties of each co-owner when more than one person owns the same piece of property. The earliest assertions of concurrent ownership probably went something like, "We both own this cave. I have a right to live here and you do too. You have to clean it and I will clean it too."

Today, because more and more people are co-owning property, "dividing the house" has become an even more complex task for which professionals are needed. Seniors who like to co-own property or who'd like to get their money out of a piece of property that they own with others, should contact a lawyer and/or a real estate professional. Lawyers can be instrumental in drafting the appropriate legal documents that define co-ownership, and in the event of a voluntary or court-ordered partition, lawyers can draft the requisite partition agreements or can represent petitioners in probate or land court proceedings. When "a house is divided" someone should be there to make sure that it doesn't fall as the pieces are being put together or when they are being taken apart.

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A few months back my barber became seriously ill. Since I get my haircut about once every 6 weeks or so, I happened to come to the barber shop at the beginning of the "bad news cycle" that the other barbers in the shop had started. These old Italian men quite emotionally described how their brother barber had fallen ill, the grave prognosis, his family's sorrows, the distress on his friends, etc. It was quite a natural outpouring of woe about everyone's mutual friend.

Because of a probate court date I needed a trim about a month later, I was met once again with the news of the barber's illness, he'll be out until March, his wife has taken time from work, etc... It was quite matter of fact really, but they needed to tell me as I had asked "how's he doing?" This got me thinking about how there is a whole exercise around communicating about grief. How we become accustomed to repeating dreadful things. "Yes, he went quickly, the bus driver was cited for speeding." "Mother fought cancer for years, it's a blessing she's gone." "I just woke up and there he was, he never woke up."

Anyone that has stood in the receiving line at a wake has taken part in the modern grief dance. The mourner says "I'm so sorry for your loss"; the family member says "thank you for coming, it would have meant a lot to old Ed." Rinse, wash, repeat. I'm not a psychologist, but I think there's some harm in wakes. Originally wakes were apparently held to ward off evil spirits (by staying awake with the body) until you got the body in the ground. Wakes then evolved to be a form of confirmation of death and social event. Until fairly recently in human history wakes were always held in the family's home. Either dead people started having more friends or someone saw a business opportunity in using their living room for wakes and the "funeral parlor" was born.

Me, I'd be perfectly happy to be waked in my front hall. The wake is an event for the living, not the dead. It's a time to bring families together to mourn, grieve and share stories of the dear departed. But wouldn't it be nice for a widow not to have to explain how her husband got stuck in the snowblower last Thursday 400 times? I propose a new model for wakes. First, let's do them in happy places, like Cheesecake Factory or the Museum of Fine Arts (another business opportunity for AARP?). Seriously, the body will be happy whereever it's placed and frankly it's only our more recent generations where all things humans are pasteurized and sterilized. In many countries bodies are buried quickly after death (mainly for the practical purpose of avoiding the consequences of hot weather), but also to dispatch the corpse so that there can be a celebration of the person's life through various forms of mourning. Heck, maybe the Probate Court could be a positive place for families to come together? I've always wanted to officiate a reading of the will like you see in movies, maybe it could be a new tradition to have a will read at a social event for the recently departed? As outlandish as these ideas may seem, our customs change over time - influenced by the tastes and preferences of people. Americans like convenience and America, Inc. likes to sell at every turn - watch out for commercialism of this most sacred time, too.

I think having a positive venue for a wake and funeral sends the message that the family continues to live. I think obituaries could be a bit more truthful as well to avoid the inevitable "how did she die?" question. How hard would it be to add a short line that says "Mary was walking along Main Street last Tuesday when a tiger that had recently escaped from the zoo caused her untimely death." I will say I like what the Boston Globe has done with their obituary section recently. The Boston Globe has added the option (for a price) of adding a photograph of the decedent. I am always drawn to these people's pictures. Today, sadly, there was a two month old baby's picture. The other day there was a Marine in his dress blues that is not coming home from far off lands. It's good to see that the dead are like us, not only old, but all ages. Death is a great equalizer - it doesn't know class, race or creed. It is one of life's certainties, and I believe the more we embrace proper estate planning, communication between family members about last wishes and the inevitability of death, the less stressful our deaths will be for the loved ones that we leave behind. Those who know me know that I love to boat and fish in Boston Harbor. A funeral director friend of mine has a boat berthed near mine, her name is "No Wake Today."

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I'll admit I stop by my local cemetery from time to time to visit my father's grave. Half the time I am there with my first grader to look for the fox that lives among the stones. But the rest of the time I'm there to talk. And I'm not alone. Invariably, others are there to talk too.

Talk? I don't expect a response from my father. He was never much for chatting. What I get is the sound advice and comforting reassurance that only seems to come from saying things out loud.

I tell him how I feel about client or family situations. I tell him of important decisions and of the choices before me.

On the darkest days I tell him I don't know what to do or where to turn on a serious issue. Despite no voice responding, I can't think of a time that I didn't leave his graveside without a clearer view of what was needed.

Some people speak to their plants, cats or the ashes of their dear-departed. I say it's all good. No matter your religious beliefs about the spiritual world, I believe there is good karma in connecting with other states of being.

Often in probate practice, I see greed as the sole driver. Self-interest and a grab-it-all mindset are the hallmarks of too many heirs. So many react to the loss of a loved one as a perfunctory event - like getting an inspection sticker for their cars, I want to scream. SCREAM!!!

The screaming leads more to the question than the answer. Is it the deceased's failure to be a good parent? Or is it the survivor's failure to be a good child? In many cultures, if not most, one's ancestors and one's connection to them is paramount to a good life.

As I talk to the pink granite block emblazoned with my family name, I know unless I connect with my own family while I'm alive, they'll never gain any wisdom talking to the marking stone over me once I'm gone.

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The son of philanthropist Brooke Astor was accused in an indictment unsealed Tuesday of plundering his mother's $198 million estate and conspiring to have the Alzheimer's-stricken socialite sign a new will leaving her fortune to him.

I guess this shows us that the rich are just like everyone else. Greed is no more a condition of poverty than hunger is a condition of obesity. Humans with a nature to cause harm to their families for their own profit come in all shapes and sizes. Brooke Astor is no more immune to her family's greed than any other elderly woman suffering from the ravages of dementia. Probate, estate taxes and trust issues for the rich are the same as for everyone else - just magnified by the scale of wealth.

A big part of our estate planning process is developing strategies to prevent abuse of the elderly. Using co-fiduciaries, professional trust services and checks and balances built into our documents, we are able to give our clients strong lines of defense. Brooke Astor may have had access to the best lawyers in the United States because of her wealth, but without an understanding of elder law and the dangers of elder abuse, even the best lawyer in Boston cannot imagine the opportunity for fraud within a parent-child relationship. Our experience tells us that the "big firm" lawyers are ill equipped to deal with what is often more social work than legal work.

Our practice is to approach mental health issues in our elderly clients as a multi-disciplinary issue. Working closely with medical providers, financial planners and social workers we craft bespoke plans that respect each individual client's unique personal situation. House, hospital or nursing home calls are commonplace in what we do, how else could we know how our clients live? Ask your downtown Boston lawyer to visit the nursing home on a Saturday morning.

In her day Brooke Astor, was a great philanthropist. In a great twist she will continue to be philanthropic through her own son's misdeeds by giving America an example of greed to the umpteenth degree. For elder law lawyers, Santa Claus could not have brought a more perfect Christmas present for elder parents than the example of the consequences of poor planning. Do your grandparents, parents and self a favor and give the affordable Christmas gift of good estate planning. And, yes, I would be happy to sell you a gift certificate for estate planning!

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I make my Easter turkey a couple of different ways, sometimes, I'll even make two or three smaller birds in different styles. My favorite method for preparing turkey is really the most simple. First, choose a fresh 10-12lb whole turkey, clean it thoroughly. Preheat a three burner gas grill to maximum temperature with a handful of hickory chips wrapped in aluminum foil, (I use a Vermont Castings that I got at Home Depot for this part ).

Mix chopped carrots, celery, onion, fresh sage, fresh ground pepper, a crushed and chopped lemon, a couple cloves of garlic and five tablespoons of sea salt (seriously) together and stuff it into the turkey cavity. Generously slather sea salt, ground pepper, fresh sage and lemon juice all over the skin. Here's the trick. Now, turn the middle burner to the off position and the front and back burners to the lowest possible setting. Place the turkey breast up, close the grill and wait. Whatever you do, don't check on the turkey. Just come back in 2.5 hours. Do not open the lid. Do not open the lid. Do not open the lid. I know you will, so close it quickly - the secret is uninterrupted convection. Don't eat the vegetables inside, just discard them prior to serving.

Of course, Easter today is as much about Easter baskets, and after Easter sales at the Burlington Mall. Leap Year Day is a big holiday on my perpetual calendar.

LYD (what us insiders call it) is a day every four years that you should take your estate plan and read it. And as you get older, I'd celebrate the last day of February more often. For older clients, I suggest reviewing your estate plan each year at Easter time. So, every four years until you stop buying green bananas!

Death. Money. Who gets the china? I think these are wonderful topics for your Easter Feast. What better time than when you have the whole family together to discuss your estate plan? If you want to review your intended resurrection, I'm all for it - tell your family that you will haunt them. I am a great proponent of talking to your family about your financial affairs and your intent - albeit homogenized for the audience. You may not want your in-laws to be in the room, no problem, give them a Monopoly box and put them in the den. Easter is a good day for board games. Did you ever think that Milton Bradley has a Monopoly on Monopoly?

Be direct with your children. In my experience as an elder law lawyer in Massachusetts, I have learned that frankness wins the day. You can reduce your child's anxiety by giving them straight answers and your clear intent. If you intend to create trusts for your children - tell them so. And don't let your spendthrift child talk you out of protecting him from himself. If need be, call your estate planning lawyer (my cell phone will be on on Easter for just such emergencies) to take the heat. As for health care issues there is nothing better than expressing your wishes to your family. After all, they will be the ones to make decisions about your care when you are no longer able.

It's a time to give thanks for the good things in our lives and to discuss what will happen after our deaths. It's what Jesus would do.

Happy Easter and God Bless.

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My law firm handles a large number of mortgage closings, estate plans and probate administrations. Honestly, it is quite monotonous, dull work. We input information into the computer and the computer spits out all the magic documents. Then we do it again, and again, and again. As dull as it may be I make a point of instilling in my staff the mission of the law firm.

Our mission, simply, is Clients First. A necessary evil, sure, but we try hard to put a human side to each mortgage closing we push out the door. Each probate involves the death of a loved one, the tension of families revealing their greed to each other, the grieving that makes it ever so hard to hold that green certificate of death in your hands. We see each probate file as something that needs to be handled with great care and respect. Whenever I first meet with a family after a death, the first words from my lips after extending my sympathy is that we are here just to talk about the process and your feelings in divvying up your loved one's affairs. I'm often surprised just how many clients take me up on my free ear and shoulder.

I have been looking around for other monotonous jobs and tried to look a little deeper at what defines excellent service in the face of boredom. It all comes down to people, people make life interesting. My favorite librarian that keeps those books in perfect order is just waiting for a patron to ask her about a good book about Antarctic exploration. My accountant can discuss boats with me until the cows come home, even manages a smile when he tells me that I owe money (I swear the IRS gives him a commission), probably because he is thinking of buying another boat. The firefighters (whose jobs are 95% boredom and 5% adrenaline) I know enjoy sharing current events, recipes and get-rich-quick ideas. What do these boring jobs have in common? People. Good people caring about helping others, but focused on the people they serve. Otherwise they would be easily replaced by machines.

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"Could you pay us $200?" I remember clearly the words that welcomed me to my legal career. After going toe-to-heel and heel-to-toe in the little windowed office, James Dwinell, then Chairman of the Board of Winchester Savings Bank in Winchester, Massachusetts, asked if I could afford the rent as calculated on his sophisticated commercial leasing software platform - 2 size 13 Allen Edmonds wingtips.

James Dwinell passed away this past week at the ripe old age of 98. He was the prototypical small town banker. He was always well dressed. He knew everyone's name. He looked you in the eye. He was on time for appointments and expected others to be on time too. He could tell with just a handshake who would be paying a mortgage back to the Winchester Savings Bank in full and who would be trouble.

As my first landlord he was fair and willing to give me a shot at starting a law practice when no one else in town would rent to a 24 year old looking to hang his shingle. I had one telephone at that time - I would bring it home at night as it was my home phone too. The simple table and single chair made me feel like Atticus Finch, Abraham Lincoln and Oliver Wendell Holmes all at once. Mr. Dwinell was NEVER "Jim" to anyone at the bank, always "Mr. Dwinell", but I was politely honored as "Attorney Gosselin" to him - a novelty for a newly minted lawyer.

Like so many other people in Winchester and Woburn that owed Mr. Dwinell for giving them chances at owning homes or starting businesses, I owe Mr. Dwinell for giving me my start - a start that led to nine happy years in that office on the third floor of the Winchester Savings Bank before moving on to bigger things.

Winchester will miss Mr. Dwinell's leadership and values, but those that he touched will pass on his special way of doing business.

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A few months back my barber became seriously ill. Since I get my haircut about once every 6 weeks or so, I happened to come to the barber shop at the beginning of the "bad news cycle" that the other barbers in the shop had started. These old Italian men quite emotionally described how their brother barber had fallen ill, the grave prognosis, his family's sorrows, the distress on his friends, etc. It was quite a natural outpouring of woe about everyone's mutual friend.

Because of a probate court date I needed a trim about a month later, I was met once again with the news of the barber's illness, he'll be out until March, his wife has taken time from work, etc... It was quite matter of fact really, but they needed to tell me as I had asked "how's he doing?" This got me thinking about how there is a whole exercise around communicating about grief. How we become accustomed to repeating dreadful things. "Yes, he went quickly, the bus driver was cited for speeding." "Mother fought cancer for years, it's a blessing she's gone." "I just woke up and there he was, he never woke up."

Anyone that has stood in the receiving line at a wake has taken part in the modern grief dance. The mourner says "I'm so sorry for your loss"; the family member says "thank you for coming, it would have meant a lot to old Ed." Rinse, wash, repeat. I'm not a psychologist, but I think there's some harm in wakes. Originally wakes were apparently held to ward off evil spirits (by staying awake with the body) until you got the body in the ground. Wakes then evolved to be a form of confirmation of death and social event. Until fairly recently in human history wakes were always held in the family's home. Either dead people started having more friends or someone saw a business opportunity in using their living room for wakes and the "funeral parlor" was born.

Me, I'd be perfectly happy to be waked in my front hall. The wake is an event for the living, not the dead. It's a time to bring families together to mourn, grieve and share stories of the dear departed. But wouldn't it be nice for a widow not to have to explain how her husband got stuck in the snowblower last Thursday 400 times? I propose a new model for wakes. First, let's do them in happy places, like Cheesecake Factory or the Museum of Fine Arts (another business opportunity for AARP?). Seriously, the body will be happy whereever it's placed and frankly it's only our more recent generations where all things humans are pasteurized and sterilized. In many countries bodies are buried quickly after death (mainly for the practical purpose of avoiding the consequences of hot weather), but also to dispatch the corpse so that there can be a celebration of the person's life through various forms of mourning. Heck, maybe the Probate Court could be a positive place for families to come together? I've always wanted to officiate a reading of the will like you see in movies, maybe it could be a new tradition to have a will read at a social event for the recently departed? As outlandish as these ideas may seem, our customs change over time - influenced by the tastes and preferences of people. Americans like convenience and America, Inc. likes to sell at every turn - watch out for commercialism of this most sacred time, too.

I think having a positive venue for a wake and funeral sends the message that the family continues to live. I think obituaries could be a bit more truthful as well to avoid the inevitable "how did she die?" question. How hard would it be to add a short line that says "Mary was walking along Main Street last Tuesday when a tiger that had recently escaped from the zoo caused her untimely death." I will say I like what the Boston Globe has done with their obituary section recently. The Boston Globe has added the option (for a price) of adding a photograph of the decedent. I am always drawn to these people's pictures. Today, sadly, there was a two month old baby's picture. The other day there was a Marine in his dress blues that is not coming home from far off lands. It's good to see that the dead are like us, not only old, but all ages. Death is a great equalizer - it doesn't know class, race or creed. It is one of life's certainties, and I believe the more we embrace proper estate planning, communication between family members about last wishes and the inevitability of death, the less stressful our deaths will be for the loved ones that we leave behind. Those who know me know that I love to boat and fish in Boston Harbor. A funeral director friend of mine has a boat berthed near mine, her name is "No Wake Today."

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Army Specialist Jeremy Paul Bouffard died in Iraq this week doing what he volunteered to do - put his life at risk for the policies of the U.S. Government. Jeremy was a native of Middlefield, Massachusetts, population 400 at last count. Crystal Main, the postal clerk, offered a pearl I have thought many times, but could never find the words. Simplest is strongest.

"In a small town, when someone loses a child we're all

losers," said Crystal, "We've all lost something of great meaning."

Today, I am from the small town of Middlefield. Last week, I was from the Utah mining town that lost nine good men to the crumbling Earth. Six years back, I was from New York City, and as we approach another September 11th, I think I may be a New Yorker for life. To be American, is to be from the biggest small town around.

Crystal hit it right saying, when one of us loses a child, we all lose. In my Massachusetts probate work I often meet with families dealing with the loss of their loved ones. Nothing matches the grief following the death of a child.

In my observations, families who have lost their young, speak of what could have been. The flame gone dark, the hope gone. This is quite unlike the passing of an elder. For those families talk about a life well-lived, the roads traveled, the lives touched.

So, be part of the swelling population of Middlefield today. Think of Jeremy and the roads he will never travel. We've all lost a child, something of great meaning.

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I'll admit I stop by my local cemetery from time to time to visit my father's grave. Half the time I am there with my first grader to look for the fox that lives among the stones. But the rest of the time I'm there to talk. And I'm not alone. Invariably, others are there to talk too.

Talk? I don't expect a response from my father. He was never much for chatting. What I get is the sound advice and comforting reassurance that only seems to come from saying things out loud.

I tell him how I feel about client or family situations. I tell him of important decisions and of the choices before me.

On the darkest days I tell him I don't know what to do or where to turn on a serious issue. Despite no voice responding, I can't think of a time that I didn't leave his graveside without a clearer view of what was needed.

Some people speak to their plants, cats or the ashes of their dear-departed. I say it's all good. No matter your religious beliefs about the spiritual world, I believe there is good karma in connecting with other states of being.

Often in probate practice, I see greed as the sole driver. Self-interest and a grab-it-all mindset are the hallmarks of too many heirs.  So many react to the loss of a loved one as a perfunctory event - like getting an inspection sticker for their cars, I want to scream. SCREAM!!!

The screaming leads more to the question than the answer. Is it the deceased's failure to be a good parent? Or is it the survivor's failure to be a good child? In many cultures, if not most, one's ancestors and one's connection to them is paramount to a good life.

As I talk to the pink granite block emblazoned with my family name, I know unless I connect with my own family while I'm alive, they'll never gain any wisdom talking to the marking stone over me once I'm gone.

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Estate planning is for old people in hospice, right? Don't estate planning lawyers hang around nursing homes looking for dying people who need wills? I'm young, healthy and make big money - what do I need with planning for incapacity, I'll do that when I'm old. What does it take for an otherwise intelligent, caring and responsible person to call an estate planning lawyer to get a will drafted and their affairs in order?

Well, I just came back from my summer vacation (in Alaska and Seattle) using the disgrace that is our national air travel system. Despite my conscious person knowing that the cab ride to the airport was many times more dangerous than the metal tube hurtling through the air at 600 miles an hour, I knew somewhere within me that at any time I could become dust. As a rule I travel with my immediate family all together, yet I know others that always separate their children and spouses on the theory that 'at least one of us will survive.' Statistically I don't know if they're better off or not.

In the months after 9/11 I saw a huge influx of new estate planning clients, many of whom never had done any estate planning of any kind. These were people in their 50's and 60's that had never had a will let alone an asset protection or liability protection plan in place for their families or their businesses. They had just been too busy to get their affairs in order apparently. It took the realization that they could have been on those planes or they could have been at Windows on the World having a coffee and Danish. From discussions with colleagues in New York City many new high net worth estate planning clients came in who admitted that previously they thought themselves invincible, immortal or just plain luckier than those poor slobs that become incapacitated at a young age or die leaving their families in dire straits. It couldn't happen to them.

Every day we see disasters, car accidents, epidemics, crimes that destroy lives and cause untold distress to whole families. I am proud to provide at least some measure of peace of mind to those that seek protection, or at least preparation, for the worst that this world has to offer. You would think that with the unending flow of misery leading our headlines that estate planning lawyers would be beating off the business with a stick - but rather, in my experience, people cower and convince themselves that it is always someone else therefore they need not take responsibility for their own situations.

I have filing cabinets full of this flawed reasoning, and the files are labeled with such terms as probate, guardianship, bankruptcy, litigation. Do yourself a favor and get some estate planning done. It need not be expensive. It need not take a lot of your precious time. And it doesn't make you look weak - on the contrary it shows that you are strong enough to acknowledge your own mortality, which as you've seen before in this blog is really one of the few things that distinguishes humans from all other life forms on Earth. And yes, the cobbler's kids have shoes.

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I have been asked over and again by my blog readers to give a simple outline of what needs to be done upon someone's death. So, because it is both a popular subject and really something that everyone will need to address in one manner or another, here goes.

In Massachusetts, probate is the process by which a deceased person's property, known as the "estate," is passed to his or her heirs and legatees (people named in the will). The entire process, supervised by the Massachusetts probate court, usually takes a little longer than a year. However, substantial distributions from the estate can ordinarily be made in the interim so long estate tax and creditor obligations can be determined with some degree of certainty. The emotional trauma brought on by the death of a close family member often is accompanied by bewilderment about the financial and legal steps the survivors must take. The spouse who passed away may have handled all of the couple's finances. Or perhaps a child must begin taking care of probating an estate about which he or she knows little. And this task may come on top of commitments to family and work that can't be set aside. Finally, the estate itself may be in disarray or scattered among many accounts, which is not unusual with a generation that saw banks collapse during the Depression.

Here we set out the steps the surviving family members should take. These responsibilities ultimately fall on whoever was appointed executor or personal representative in the deceased family member's will. Matters can be a bit more complicated in the absence of a will, because it may not be clear who has the responsibility of carrying out these steps.

First, secure the tangible property. This means anything you can touch, such as silverware, dishes, furniture, or artwork. You will need to determine accurate values of each piece of property, which may require appraisals, and then distribute the property as the deceased directed. If property is passed around to family members before you have the opportunity to take an inventory, this will become a difficult, if not impossible, task. Of course, this does not apply to gifts the deceased may have made during life, which will not be part of his or her estate.

Second, take your time. GRIEVE. You do not need to take any other steps immediately. While bills do need to be paid, they can wait a month or two without adverse repercussions. It's more important that you and your family have time to grieve. Financial matters can wait. (One exception: Social Security should be notified within a month of death. If checks are issued following death, you could be in for a battle. For more on Social Security's death procedures, click on http://www.ssa.gov/pubs/deathbenefits.htm)

When you're ready, but not a day sooner, give me or another Massachusetts probate lawyer a call to review the steps necessary to administer the deceased's estate. Bring as much information as possible about finances, taxes and debts. Don't worry about putting the papers in order first; as full service probate lawyers, we have experience in organizing and understanding confusing financial statements. The exact rules of Massachusetts estate administration differ are complex, so it is best to speak with a probate lawyer. In general, they include the following steps: 1. Filing the will and petition at the Massachusetts probate court in order to be appointed executor or personal representative. In the absence of a will, heirs must petition the court to be appointed "administrator" of the estate. 2. Marshaling, or collecting, the assets. This means that you have to find out everything the deceased owned. You need to file a list, known as an "inventory," with the probate court. It's generally best to consolidate all the estate funds to the extent possible. Bills and bequests should be paid from a single checking account; our law firm would establish and help you administer this account, so that you can keep track of all expenditures. 3. Paying bills and taxes. If an Massachusetts (or Federal) estate tax return is needed---generally if the estate exceeds $1 million in value---it must be filed within nine months of the date of death. If you miss this deadline and the estate is taxable, severe penalties and interest may apply. If you do not have all the information available in time, you can file for an extension and pay your best estimate of the tax due. 4. Filing tax returns. You must also file a final income tax return for the decedent and, if the estate holds any assets and earns interest or dividends, an income tax return for the estate. If the estate does earn income during the administration process, it will have to obtain its own tax identification number in order to keep track of such earnings. Our law firm has a CPA on retainer to make all of this simple and easy for our probate clients. 5. Distributing property to the heirs and legatees. Generally, executors do not pay out all of the estate assets until the period runs out for creditors to make claims, which in Massachusetts is a year after the date of death. But, in many cases, once the executor understands the estate and the likely claims, he or she can distribute most of the assets, retaining a reserve for unanticipated claims and the costs of closing out the estate. 6. Filing a final account. The executor must file an account with the Massachusetts probate court listing any income to the estate since the date of death and all expenses and estate distributions.

Once the court approves this final account, the executor can distribute whatever is left in the closing reserve, and finish his or her work. Some of these steps can be eliminated by avoiding probate through proper estate planning and through the use of trusts. Whoever is left in charge still has to pay all debts, file tax returns, and distribute the property to the rightful heirs. You can make it easier for your heirs by keeping good records of your assets and liabilities. This will shorten the process and simplify things for your probate lawyer (thank you for that, by the way).

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The knowledge that we will eventually die is one of the things that seems to distinguish humans from other living beings. At the same time, no one likes to dwell on the prospect of his or her own death. But if you postpone planning for your demise until it is too late, you run the risk that your intended beneficiaries -- those you love the most -- may not receive what you would want them to receive whether due to extra administration costs, unnecessary taxes or squabbling among your heirs.

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There's been a lot of buzz lately about the estate tax limits being raised by this Congress to lofty new levels. Once they raise estate tax exemption limits (estate taxes are taxes paid as part of the probate and non-probate administration processes to both Federal and Massachusetts tax authorities, currently estate taxes kick in at $2,000,000 for Federal purposes, Massachusetts law lowers this limit to collect Massachusetts a few more dollars), estate planning will become less of an exercise in tax avoidance and more targeted to special needs planning, trusts for various special purposes (like dynasty trusts, spendthrift trusts, asset protection, elder law and Medicaid planning, charitable trusts, really whatever estate planning lawyers can think up), and just simple will planning.

So what's going to be fun about that? Our legal clients will no longer be the near affluent seeking to minimize their estate taxes, but either we will have more of the super rich seeking lawyers who can minimize their estate taxes and help them avoid probate or we will have families with unique estate planning opportunities. An article that caught my eye talks about a unique way to dispose of your corpse by helping your alma mater raise a few new dollars. Colleges are now pushing for niches for cremains or full blown cemeteries on their properties. I wonder if the school's cheer leading squad, marching band and mascot can be hired to come to your funeral? Is your final resting place determined by your grade point average? If so, some students may find themselves near the campus laundry instead of on a nice bluff overlooking the quad.

Note to Middlebury College (my alma mater): you are already included in my estate planning; I send you a check or two every year and I volunteer a 100 or so hours a year interviewing new prospects between trying to be a lawyer in Massachusetts - so, you can't have my body too. Once my probate administration is over down at the Middlesex Probate Court, I want my family to rest comfortably knowing that all my debts have been paid and they can file my final probate account in peace. Thanks, but no thanks, I'm not paying any more tuition bills. **************LOS ANGELES -- The rooms in this college dorm have no electricity, no running water, and ceilings that are just 11 inches high. But the residents don't mind. They're dead. Draped in sky-blue marble, the honeycombed structure -- which is tucked behind a set of spooky glowing stones at Chapman University in Orange, Calif. -- is designed to house the cremated ashes of alumni, faculty, and pets.

The mini-cemetery is part of a small but growing trend on college campuses. This summer, Notre Dame will unveil a pair of limestone and brick mausoleums laced with full-body crypts selling for as much as $11,000. And the Citadel military college in South Carolina is adding 400 urn niches to a carillon tower that holds one of the Western Hemisphere's biggest collections of Dutch bells. The University of Southern California is also studying the idea of campus tombs for a proposed multifaith chapel.

Think of it as continuing ed for the dead -- or the ultimate college reunion. In today's mobile society, some people feel more connected to their alma mater than to their hometown, said cemetery consultant Mel Malkoff, who oversees Chapman's columbarium and is working on similar projects with other schools. "People look back on their college years and say, `Those were the best days of my life,' " Malkoff said. "Why not spend eternity there?" Hoping to cash in on such sentiments, some universities don't stop with enrollment space. They also offer custom urns -- or coffins blessed by monks. As odd as such practices might sound, they're rooted in the past. College graveyards were once fairly common, said historian David Sloane of USC, author of "The Last Great Necessity: Cemeteries in American History." In the early 1800s, before embalming became widespread, it was often impractical to ship home the body of a deceased student or professor. Iowa State University's 131-year-old dead zone holds about 800 corpses, mostly faculty but also two students, a night watchman, and his dog. Notre Dame's sprawling burial ground debuted in 1843, one year after the school was founded, along with a mortuary that helped subsidize tuition costs.

By the late 20th century, many longtime college cemeteries were languishing. The University of Virginia's 1828 graveyard ran out of room in the early 1960s, said Dr. Dearing Johns, a cardiology professor who heads the school's cemetery committee. School officials decided against expanding it -- until an alum who wanted to be buried on campus suggested a columbarium wall and paid for the construction with three friends. It's a great way to generate money," said columbarium chief Andrea Patenaude of the University of Richmond, which recently transformed a sliver of campus into a million-dollar serpentine wall carved with 2,900 niches priced at $3,000 each. A spider logo, depicting the school's mascot, climbs the bamboo gate leading to the wall. Duke University is charging $25,000 a pop to bury ashes in its new 2-acre memorial garden. Part of the motivation for Duke's program was that people had begun scattering ashes there on the sly. The profits will help finance the school's vast public gardens.

Chapman's dorm for the dead, with prices ranging from $2,500 to $5,000 per two-urn chamber, was built to help fund the school's new chapel. A meditative garden leads to the memorial, which sits behind a wall of white onyx that is illuminated from within to symbolize "the elusive separation between the living and the dead, a separation of a single breath," according to designer Susan Narduli. Colleges aren't the only institutions offering alternative burial space. A German soccer team recently announced plans to open a public cemetery next to its stadium, according to news reports. A similar idea was floated in San Diego a decade ago, when a businessman urged the Padres baseball team to install 70,000 cremation niches in the outfield wall of its new park. Despite a potential windfall of $175 million, Padres management balked at the proposal.**************** If Red Sox nation could put little cremains niches in the Green Monster with glass walls so you have an unobstructed view of Manny Ramirez running down fly balls... I might want to get half a dozen of those now just to stretch out and watch the game without getting beer spilled on me.

Since this is supposed to be a legal blog, there are a few things that you should know about the disposition of a corpse in Massachusetts. Under Massachusetts law your corpse is not the property of your executor or your probate estate. Your corpse belongs to your next of kin. Effectively there is an order of degrees or relations that Massachusetts law requires you to follow. Your spouse has first claim to your corpse (even that 24 hour romance in Vegas counts). We have had many a case of the new spouse (often known as the StepMonster, not to be confused with the Green Monster) burying or cremating their spouse completely contrary to the wishes of the family (and even the deceased spouse). After the spouse, the children have collective priority, an issue when they do not agree as to the disposition of the corpse. The most famous case happened in Red Sox Nation, when Ted Williams' family needed to go to probate court to decide whether the splendid splinter would be frozen or cremated. My advice as a lawyer is to pre-pay for your funeral. I have only had a couple of cases where the family would rather pay from their inheritance to arrange burial instead of taking the freebie.

NOTE - The response to the blog has been overwhelming, from best we can tell there are hundreds of regular readers already. I apologize again for using some words a little too much (you know the words: probate; Massachusetts law; Boston lawyer; real estate; estate planning; elder law; Medicaid), we expect that this will no longer be so necessary as the blog is added to its own server and web site soon. I also promise to bring you entries that relate to your interests and concerns. To do this, I need your input and ideas. Feel free to email me at Gosselin@GosselinLaw.com or add comments.

PS - The new building is near getting its permits, we expect the construction trailer to be on site next week and the fun to get started. To those that do not know, Gosselin & Associates, P.C. (from now forward to be known publicly as "Gosselin Law") is creating the largest and most modern law office ever in Winchester, Massachusetts (hey, can't fault me for bragging a little!). Seriously, we will have about 8,000sf of space, a conference facility seating about 60, several conference rooms, a full service kitchen, a gym with a personal trainer on staff, a children's room, all on site storage and a great parking lot - even a dog yard for my Australian Shepherd. My big headache at the moment is trying to figure out the difference between "Whisper Sage" and "Dusty Hemlock", those who know what this means, know what I mean. More construction updates as I get them. We hope to move in October or November.

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The other day I was asked how I became an elder law lawyer that handles real estate and probate matters. I responded in the usual manner that my father was a trial lawyer and my mother a nurse at a Massachusetts nursing home and I wanted to combine my quantitative aptitude with my interest in directly helping people. But, then I put a little more thought into what it was in my origins that passively educated me in dealing with real estate development, probate, elder law and other areas of Massachusetts law. It had a lot more to do with Saturday mornings.

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Practicing in the area of probate law in Massachusetts exposes me to so many good people. Well, most all of my clients and their families are good. It's their relatives that cause all the problems. Over several years of practice I have developed a set of baseline rules for dealing with people in probate cases; I like to call it the Gosselin Theory of Relativity. It boils down to this "friends for pleasure, strangers for business and relatives for no good reason at all." Let me share with you some true to life stories (with the names changed to protect the innocent).

Many years back I had written the estate plan (will and trust) of a then elderly woman of substantial means in the area North of Boston. "Mrs. Jones" had two children. "Elsa" was a loving daughter. She visited Mrs. Jones often and was her confidante and companion as Mrs. Jones' health declined. Elsa was more or less the model daughter. "Aurelius" was a greedy, lying, conniving germ of a man that was born to Mrs. Jones but took a wrong turn on the way out of the nursery. Mrs. Jones only saw him when he was on the lam or looking for a "loan." She never turned him away, but had a plan for him at her death. You see, her estate planning made provisions for Elsa, Elsa's children, even Aurelius' children - but it left nothing to Aurelius. Mrs. Jones, as is common, asked me to keep her papers for safekeeping, only telling Elsa and Aurelius that should something happen to her that they should contact me. Aurelius lived in a Mid-Atlantic state and drove through the night to reach my office at 8:30am.

He was waiting with his car idling for me to come in to work. "Are you Mrs. Jones' lawyer? She died yesterday. She was my mother. I want to know what I'm getting in the will." I knew this day was coming. My instructions were clear from Mrs. Jones that I was to give Aurelius any and all notices required under the probate law of Massachusetts, but nothing more. "You must be Aurelius," I said like any good lawyer who only asks questions fully knowing the answer before they are spoken. "I am so sorry to hear about your mother, she was a kind and thoughtful woman. Your mother's property was held entirely in a trust, her will is of no consequence, the trust is a private document and if there is any reason to contact you in the due course of its administration I will contact you, won't you confirm your address?" I succinctly responded.

After a variety of profanity, Aurelius stomped away. Wouldn't you know that when I called Elsa to inform her that I had met Aurelius her response to me was "Mr. Gosselin, why are you sorry about mother? She is right here with me." I'll be coming back to the theme of greed over the coming weeks, it is an unfortunate necessity of being a probate lawyer. [Housekeeping: I just want to let all of you know that this blogging thing is more time consuming than I ever imagined. So, please excuse short posts or gaps of time, it's my goal to produce a new blog every 3 days or less. Also, my webmaster tells me to make sure I use "magic" words in my blog, like probate, real estate, lawyer, elder law, Massachusetts, Boston, etc.", but I promise to use these terms in their proper context and from time to time to create blogs with no words like probate, elder law, Medicaid, estate planning, Massachusetts, real estate. :)]

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Despite my best efforts to avoid the Anna Nicole Smith story, I have been awed by the public fascinati