Elder Law - The House Whisperer - Or, John Gosselin is Talking to Ghosts
Over the years, I have learned elder clients are not so much disturbed by their eventual deaths as they are about the changes in their lives. I think it is true about houses, too.
Just yesterday I sat with two old sisters who lived together in the same house for their entire lives - a collective 187 years. One sister has been told she has about six months left to live, while the other's sister's memory has faded to the point that she doesn't recognize her sister anymore.
It is time for them to move to a nursing home. But leaving the home of so many years raises serious questions. Who will tend the roses, feed the birds, weed the garden? Will the new owners make the old furnace run properly?
These were their concerns. I didn't have the heart to tell them their beloved home would probably be bulldozed to make room for townhouses.
I believe houses have karma, both good and bad. Sometimes, onsite, evaluating properties for probate, I can almost hear children singing 'Happy Birthday,' and smell Grandma's garlicky tomato gravy for Sunday dinner. Sometimes I hear the voices of a bad marriage fueled by alcohol and crushing debt. Or the pain of a loved one slowly dying in the presence of family members. Or it might be the sobs of a lonely widow grieving her long lost bedfellow. Ghosts? Spirits?
If you like a home, it will like you back. My advice to first-time home buyers? Find a happy house. Spend a couple of hours enjoying tea in its living room with the lonely widow before the closing. Ask to keep a photo or a memento of the seller as a piece of goodwill.
Stay in the house as long as you can feel the good karma and it serves your needs. And when you sell that happy little house, shed a tear as you drive away.
