Can You Speak Up? I Have Dirt In My Ears
I'll admit I stop by my local cemetery from time to time to visit my father's grave. Half the time I am there with my first grader to look for the fox that lives among the stones. But the rest of the time I'm there to talk. And I'm not alone. Invariably, others are there to talk too.
Talk? I don't expect a response from my father. He was never much for chatting. What I get is the sound advice and comforting reassurance that only seems to come from saying things out loud.
I tell him how I feel about client or family situations. I tell him of important decisions and of the choices before me.
On the darkest days I tell him I don't know what to do or where to turn on a serious issue. Despite no voice responding, I can't think of a time that I didn't leave his graveside without a clearer view of what was needed.
Some people speak to their plants, cats or the ashes of their dear-departed. I say it's all good. No matter your religious beliefs about the spiritual world, I believe there is good karma in connecting with other states of being.
Often in probate practice, I see greed as the sole driver. Self-interest and a grab-it-all mindset are the hallmarks of too many heirs. So many react to the loss of a loved one as a perfunctory event - like getting an inspection sticker for their cars, I want to scream. SCREAM!!!
The screaming leads more to the question than the answer. Is it the deceased's failure to be a good parent? Or is it the survivor's failure to be a good child? In many cultures, if not most, one's ancestors and one's connection to them is paramount to a good life.
As I talk to the pink granite block emblazoned with my family name, I know unless I connect with my own family while I'm alive, they'll never gain any wisdom talking to the marking stone over me once I'm gone.
